We all have done it at some point, maybe one time (I doubt it’s just one time.) or multiple times to random stranger on the road, or to our closed/trusted or loved ones around us.
In the moment, we would just say whatever we want and it’s not even about getting a reaction out of the other side; we just wanted to pick a fight and it didn’t matter whether it’s logical, or who wins or loses the fight.
Recently, I went off on my best friend, but compare to the times I have lashed out before, and the intensity of it… I wouldn’t even call it a “lashing out.” It was more like an exhausted version of dealing with people who never bother beyond what they were given readily on a plate. Nonetheless, it doesn’t make it less better than any lash outs.
Lash outs are awful and energy-consuming for both the culprit and victim. Lash out never even has “a means to an end” factor. It is basically a pointless and bitchy verbal attack. It’s hurtful and confusing for the other person; especially if you start lashing at them out of nowhere.
Why do we still do it knowing there is honestly no point of the argument/fight?
Stress releasing? Sharing pain? Sharing pain vindictively? (You can’t fight me on this that it isn’t vindictive because it SO IS when you are putting your shit on the other person.)
And usually, we target people who wouldn’t fight aggressively back to us also. Yeah, the more I think about this, the more I realize how messed up this is.
I have guilty complex and still, I do this. Afterwards I would beat myself for an eternity. Honestly. I’m so stupid sometimes.
But the reason I’m writing about this is because just a few hours ago, I saw how the kids, who are helpless in general against adults, got lash out at because the adults were exhausted and couldn’t deal with each other, so the kid became the bull’s eye.
I just feel bad for the poor kid and even when I tried to stop it, it got worse… *sigh.
This event makes me feel more guilty and bad about all the people; my families, my closed friends that I had lashed out over the years.
I feel bad about all the children who got verbally lashed out by their parents also.
At the same time, I don’t want to blame the parents that much or others who lash out because I can understand.
But still, we are adults and we should have our own shit together rather than attacking helpless people, right?